things that mAtter

Does it bother anyone else when someone asks you to define what a word or expression means and you have trouble doing so? It's not that you don't know what it means, it's that you've used it so frequently or for so long that, in your brain, it needs no other definition. It is what it is. You can even provide synonymous terms, but even then, not ones that truly define.

No? Okay, well it bothers me. It bothers me because I love clarity. I love to be on the same page. I flourish when I feel understood. You can at least agree with me on that one, right?

I think to be understood it is necessary to make sure that what a word means to me is that same as what it means to you. Or at least that you know what I mean when I use it. That is the challenge and art behind communication, isn't it? Making sure we understand each other?

Well, I am way past where I even wanted to go with this, but we're here now, so let me at least try to connect the dots.

I wanted to say, "It bothers me because I love clarity. And sometimes, I will even look it up in the dictionary! This is not only for the benefit of those that ask but also in the name of further understanding for myself."

I'm a nerd. or a dork. or however you define that type of behavior. :)

ANYWAY... the other day I looked up a word and unfortunately like most English words....there was more than one definition! No wonder we misunderstand each other!! Not only do we have to wade through personal translation for a meaning, phrase, or word, a word itself is flat-out defined by and in plurality. Yuck.

[I'll pause here so you can all pray for my poor husband who has to deal with my communication obsession]

Without giving you the word, here is some of what I found on my recent quest:
- Something that occupies space and can be perceived by one or more senses
- Something that has mass and exists as a solid, liquid, gas, or plasma
- The substance of thought or expression as opposed to the manner in which it is stated or conveyed
- A subject of concern, feeling, or action
- Trouble or difficulty
- Something printed or otherwise set down in writing
- To be of importance

Ah, the last one. After literally 20 (highly) different definitions for the word MATTER, I found the one I thought I was looking for.

Neal and I had a conversation the other day and I caught myself saying, "I just want to MATTER." And to better understand me, he asked what I meant, and I struggled to put more meaning to it than the words I said, so I looked up the definition. Finally - to be of importance.

Surely I'm not alone on this one. Don't we all want to be of importance? And if we're all making ourselves busy trying so hard to be so important to one another and ourselves and strangers and people 60 years from now, aren't we bypassing the things that truly matter?

For me, it's my personal relationship with Jesus. This unfortunately has taken a sad backseat to my vain self-pursuit of mattering. This is my confession. I need help.

What is crazier still: I matter alot to Him, and that alone should be all that matters to me.

"Be still." "Cease striving." "Abide." 


I'm going to start by focusing on He who matters most.


hAppy fAthers dAy

We are so thankful for all the Fathers in our life!

Angel Fire

Neal and I capitalized on our 3-day weekend (Memorial Day...I know, I know...it's about time!) and decided to drive 12 some odd (even) hours to Angel Fire, NM.  This is that story....